Tag Archives: Think

For more Ticks than Crosses

11 Aug

“Night falls fast. Today is in the past.”

– Edna St. Vincent Millay

[From her poem – Not so Far as the Forest]

 

The throbbing beats of rain in the backdrop, coffee and solitude accompanied by the enormity of these words took me to another level of ponderance and realization.

The stark brevity of time struck me like never before.

A few years back, as I entered B-school, I could not help thinking about the long path ahead and yearning – the dreams and goals seemed miles and years away. And now, after more than six years-it seems like yesterday-as if the days have passed at the snap of fingers.

This is just one example.

Really, each and everyday-how the sun rises and sets in seemingly, the blink of an eye and before we know – as we close our eyes, today has already transformed into yesterday.

Embracing the reality of such a short life, brings with it so many life-transforming insights: Living by the Day, Grabbing as many Experiences as possible, the Power of being Happy and Positive,  Loving as much and as many as one can, etc. but at the top of it all lies Discipline!

No, not the ‘Always-be-prim-and-proper-and-I-hate-fun” sort of Discipline, but the Discipline of Time: Staying up and about as much as one can-Valuing and utilizing each moment!
Because with procrastination and wasting time-one just kills their dreams and passions one by one.

Dreams are always a perhaps-and its ironical how without giving time to them, we ourselves strangle them to death and then lament the lack of time and luck and support 🙂

And with being disciplined, we end up making way for satisfaction (personally and professionally) and consequently, the other stuff – Love, Goodness, Happiness …

Rarity always precedes Preciousness. How can we be foolish enough to waste something as valuable as time, when it is so absolutely obvious?

Think and Feel.

 

P.S: I believe I realized the value of time subconsciously some months back; and made major lifestyle changes – And yes, it works: the To-Do list is endless, but there are certainly more Ticks than Crosses now 🙂

 

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Imprints in Time

5 Jun

We have come a long way …
from those foolhardy days,
When naive and eloquent:
every thought we would question;
And oh! so bold –
every next chance our heart would leap to take;

Sure, we have come a long way
Yet, my heart visits those imprints in time
Just to feel alive,
Reminiscing the paths where real glory lay.






P.S: The categorization in both “Poems” and “Short Stories” is intentional. I believe the romantics at heart would know why!

The Tug of War !

1 Apr

After more than 5 years of blissful independence and exploring life and self, being at home is being in another world you knew existed but you thought you would never completely immerse into. Well, life takes you through unplanned routes once in a while – I think I can put together a chronicle on this change: the virtues and vices, the hiccups and benefits, the laughter and the sadness…

Before I start ranting, this is one of the few non-fictional posts – it is real contemplation and well, on an honest note – it feels extremely difficult to put down your very personal self in public space. For some unknown reason, I know I have to.

The last three months have seen me staying under the loving, caring gaze of my parents – this carefreeness begets self-exploration of a different kind – the kind I only read/ heard and ignored – hearing to yourself when alone and accepting it.

So, one of the biggest realizations has been the importance of people in my life – the kind you can talk to about nothing and everything and the biggest learning has been how to maintain and develop relationships.

Well, I have been blessed with absolutely wonderful people in my life, and I always appreciated that.

At the same time, I used to think I am this independent, liberated woman who can spend quality time all by herself but it all went into dumps in the past three months. I realized that I am madly and whole-heartedly dependent on my family and friends to the extent of being possessive, demanding, over-expecting and all other things people term as “insecure”. Talking to them, staying updated about their lives, craving for their time, waiting for the phone to beep – “Oh! God, please even a one-word message will do!” – became utmost important in these 3 months. Unnerving this realisation is – absolutely! Is it really me? Am I crazy? Was it me who earlier used to snigger at such behavior?
And being non-confrontational by nature just added to it.

Well, well – as many wise men have advised, accept the truth.

So, I accepted that I am not a happy loner – I need people around and then, it started feeling good. Now the difficult part.

Home alone, no deadlines, no real work, the ‘bed-food-books-movie’ routine, hence a lot of free time to wonder (yes, crave to wander too), remember, day-dream, quite some topics floating in the mind to talk and discuss and a lot of time in silence craving to be shared.

The flip-side: everyone except your parents are still living by their previous schedules and you have more time than they have. The previous perfect equation of time has turned into inequality. All it led to was self-doubt and worse still, doubt in relationships.

But then, I quickly got over it and learnt the ultimate mantra on how to maintain my relationships. When it comes to people you love, “you need to be extremely patient with them, and equally impatient with yourself.”

What? How? Why?

Yes, I am this super believer in love – every damn kind of love. And so, when it comes to your close ones, you need to be so impatient with yourself that you pursue perfection in as little time as possible with a passion little known – perfection as a friend, as a sibling, as a child, as a lover, etc., perfection such that you leave little chance of complaints, perfection that is so empowering that you know you have given the best, perfection such that the time you spend together with them is bliss of a different level – laughter and fun and memories. You become perfect in being secure, in being able to appeal to their best nature, in perfectly loving your own self to give them your best. Given that, I do believe in a little room for fights (which exist because you are “yourself”) as a part of this utopia.

And when it comes to the other person, you have to be patient enough to give some space, to let them realize their true feelings for you, to let them explore life beyond you so that they can decide for themselves, to allow them the time to unfold and see your depth of feelings for them, to let them just be and to accept them as they change when life progresses. Cliche as it may be – it is not in the amount of hours spent together but in the depth of feelings and immovable trust that relationships foster.

And of course, the best part is that now I am turning into a truly happy loner doing other things that I love, knowing deep down that I love my people and they are with me even when silent.

 

P.S: On a lighter note – Is this permanent, considering how constantly I change?

Freedom

28 Feb

Hopping on to the scooty –
for a ride in the moonlit sky;
Hair unkempt,  dressed in pajamas –
Hogging to heart’s content in that upscale hotel

Listening to those songs just to cry
Dancing in the rain, no care for those party clothes
Feeling glory in being a one-man fan club
Hugging in a crowd without any hiccup

Meaning praises even for the egotist blokes
Embracing feelings as they unfold
Expressing love without remorse
Confessing weaknesses – no fear of loss

Charades of abuses – no regret, no fear
Crying to your heart’s content –
Accepting mistakes of the past
Then moving on in full gear

Being what you please,
Only yourself to appease
Following your soul, discovering our skills
Living to experiment all you will

Looking straight into eyes’ that pry –
Not having to live in the sly
Voice mirroring what lies inside
All of it is freedom sans any guise.

Simply Stupid

20 Jan

Dance in the park,
Hop with the unknown kids,
A simple game of ring-around-a-rosy;
Or build your own land of fantasy.
Try being simply stupid.

Put on the yellow hat
with the pajamas and purple tee;
Who said you have to match it?
Ripples in the placid…
How fun it is- just try being simply stupid.

Amidst the wooden panels and sophistication
Spread your hands,
Glide across the bay to the board room;
Oh, for once shun the overt elegance, the formal cocoon;
Try being simply stupid.

Stop the car-give him a lift
An interesting chat on the way;
You may become friends forever..
I know, full of caution you used to be,
Listen to your heart and try being simply stupid.

Dark today could mean light tomorrow,
Question what is;
Armed with belief, stretch your faith
Who cares what would they say
Plate full of delicious opportunities and different tastes,
If you just try being simply stupid.

😀

God of budding Flower, anyone?

17 Jan

Rs 25k reward for information on sex selection in state” – the latest scheme by Rajasthan Government to fight sex determination/ female foeticide and punish organisations and people involved.

I am not against the “yojna” but I am absolutely not convinced that it is the “Solution”

Sure, the government would be able to catch hold of people who engage in and in fact, aid and escalate such practices. The Government would be able to curb it to an extent ( two assumptions: corruption in this case would be negligible, government/ police authorities are not among the racketeers; one fact: there is always some goodness around)

But I am concerned about its effectiveness because this scheme is the treatment of an overt symptom and not the cause of the illness.

The root of the problem is “Gender Discrimination” – the deep-routed mindset in India that considers women folk to be of lower worth/ importance than men, which is shockingly present even among the most educated and respected people and sometimes in women themselves.

Now, till we fix this rotten seed, would such schemes be of any help?
Even if abortions are eradicated, the girl child would grow up in a family that does not respect the softer (and stronger) gender. The result can be as worse as Child/Forced marriage, Dowry, Less Education, etc. which leaves its effect on her whole life and persona.

I believe if each one of us can play ‘God’ to a girl we know (or to oneself, if you are a female), make small changes in ourselves and learn to speak up, such schemes would just not be needed.

Here is the quick top-of-my-head list:

1. Tell her a girl she can study as much as she wants. Help a girl seeking studied/ career guidance; Talk to her parents if they feel part-time job/ internship is not for her or if they are “allowing” her to study. Education is now a birth right, dear parents-who-say-that!
Don’t let her believe being a girl, she can take only so and so course – Motivate her by sharing stories of those who have made it in spite of odds one can think of. She can go and be the bread-earner or be the perfect home-maker or be an eclectic mix of both, if she so desires.

2. It does not always start and end at marriage. Yes, marriage is an important aspect of life but everything does not start and end at marriage. Do not take her to parties and social occasions just so that people can see her, take her if she enjoys them. Do not ask her to dress so that she looks thin and petite – she has every right to feel good. Teach her to cook and do household chores to become self-dependent and not because it is a sale-able quality in the marriage market.  And yes, she does not need to stop studying to get a suitable boy

And yes do tell her this – she does not have to be married to start working on her dream. The time to do anything is “right now”.

3. Let her believe. And sometimes when the surroundings are tough, make her believe in herself, not to accept things just because she is a woman. She can get ahead and fulfill all she desires with a little support from the family. A female is a juggler who knows she can balance everything she wants and can effectively include more tools in her juggling act as time passes.

4. Respect and trust her. It will build her self belief and would make others respect her too. She does not need to shy away from speaking up just because she is a female. Listen and make others listen.

And it will all come back to you full circle. Respect begets respect.

So, look around you and pick up your favourite bud and help her turn into a beautiful flower who is known for herself and not her father or brother or husband or son 🙂

P.S : I am not a feminist but an “equalist”. I realize I become too preachy at times 🙂

Give a ride!

16 Jan

Nope, it is not about car or bike rides or some God-forbid case when I got swindled or the countless rides we make to Government departments for the simplest of tasks.

This post is a result of the latest mental dilemma I faced which again led me to question  – What is the problem with simple logic? and/or Humble demeanour?

There is an uncanny symptom floating in the residential complex I live in – one of the symptoms of an ailment called “status maintenance by stupid actions” among few residents. There are hundreds of times when I stumble upon this ailment in the conduct of people. But “Recency effect” is forcing me to write about this particular symptom.

“The Anti-carpool syndrome”

Let me explain: There have been many occasions when I have seen several people going to the same place/ area/ marriage/ event. You would say what is new in that? It goes like this – The source and destination of these people are the same. Every family would take their cars but they won’t travel together. So there would be 4 cars leaving from a single complex for the same venue with 2,2,2,3 members respectively. So, simple mathematics – Total no. of people = 9; No. of cars =4; Fact – 5 people can easily accommodate in a self-driven car; So, taking 2 cars on that occasion would be sufficient.

But no one asks each other to travel together – “Bhai, hum to tashan aur shaan se jayenge”; “Jab hamari gaadi khadi hai toh kisi aur ko kyun poochhhe”, etc. is the logic I have heard on giving my innocent suggestion.

Sounds wierd? To me, it feels wierd. Stupid Logic. Period.

Why stupid? – Simple benefits of Carpooling. I am listing them out under three heads

1. Personal benefits – Dude, you are going to a party to socialize and enjoy, right? Why not extend it to your dear neighbours? Don’t they say – “Raat savere koi ho ya nahi ho, padosi hamesha hote hain.” Neighbours come before relatives.
I always remember my college days for this: when going to the institute, parties, birthday treats, movies, picnics, anyplace together – we would take our cars turn by turn, chart out the optimum route to pick up everyone and travel together, what fun it used to be! Songs, jokes, gossips, bullying the target of the day, stopping by those momo-shacks.Pure Bliss.
And believe me, experience tells me you can have as much fun with your neighbours minus the bullying. 🙂
Not to forget, you build upon  your social network, develop your communication and adaptability skills and your kids too learn the trick if they are accompanying (Warning: Make sure your kids are not the “paste-chewing-gum-on-seat” breed)

2. Financial Benefits – I need not mention, everyone saves on the petrol/ diesel and car maintenance expenses. You take your car this time, your neighbour will take the next time. Again, simple benefit. That reminds me of a mock-image I saw today: “2020- SBI giving Petrol loans”. And yes, you save on the parking charges too.

3. Environmental Benefits – And not at all the least, you contribute in doing your bit for combating pollution. 2 cars instead of 4 : pollution comes down by half. And an indirect benefit is less honking. So you end up fighting not only air but also noise pollution.

And in case, your car breaks down – you are not left alone 😛

Friendship, Camaraderie, Savings, Less socially harmful and Fun while travelling – what else do you want? So be selfish, “Go Carpooling”. As I said, simple logic. But many fail to understand.

And yes, if you are sensible enough and have neighbours/ colleagues with the aforementioned ailment – Be humble. Go, initiate. Give a ride yourself – Ask them if they would like to accompany you and set the trend.

Happy you. And Cleaner, Greener, Better India.

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