Tag Archives: Friends

The Runway to Best Friends’ Wedding

6 May

No, the title (the apostrophe in the title) is not a grammatical mistake. Like any other female, I have few best friends and anyone would be an idiot to argue with me that “best” implies only “one”. Sorry dear, you are just going to waste your time.

Now that I have satiated the grammar Nazi in me by excusing myself for the “logical mistake”, back to the point.

Weddings are always a happy affair – okay, pardon the bride and groom who are being buried. So, by and large – Weddings are always a happy affair. But a best friend’s wedding is another thing.

I happen to know very few events that can arouse a tornado of emotions like your best friend getting hitched.

Yes, yes … you always encouraged him/ her to extend bachelorhood till his/ her last breath, but the instant you get the “good news”, a feeling of relief engulfs the entire being – you were shit worried that he/ she settles down. Relief-Happiness to the extent of being Aggressive-Umpteen phone calls to other friends-Excitement-Jumping with Joy-Worrying about all the sweets and junk reflecting on the weighing scale-Discussions-Screening the lucky girl/ guy for the millionth time-More calls-wondering about what to wear at the wedding-okay, some more calls. And finally, when you know there is not a single soul left who wants to talk on this topic, you find yourself smiling and beaming for no reason.

Few days pass and nostalgia strikes: From strangers to friends to best friends: Hours spent in knowing one another, sailing together through ups and downs of life, Fighting like cats and dogs and then forgetting all about it over an ice-cream, discovering and sharing emotions that you never know existed, bike rides and bus rides and auto rides – well, just being together wherever, umpteen trips, talking till the wee hours of morning, blackmailing with all the secrets, being the one-man army when everyone goes against, discussing crushes/ boyfriends/ girlfriends, talking shit because you know the other person would never say -“You told so…”, the hugs and smiles and stolen glances, the care and pure love … the list is endless.

And then calamity strikes – envy that you cannot talk and meet as you wish and of course, keep calling till the phone is picked at 2.39 am in the morning because you had to share some bullshit.

It doesn’t last long when you suddenly start worrying and hoping that his/ her fiance is the right one ….

And so it continues … till the day you see them getting tied together for life. And warmth, bliss and euphoria sweeps over.

Amen – For the past, present and future of our lives and friendship…

The Tug of War !

1 Apr

After more than 5 years of blissful independence and exploring life and self, being at home is being in another world you knew existed but you thought you would never completely immerse into. Well, life takes you through unplanned routes once in a while – I think I can put together a chronicle on this change: the virtues and vices, the hiccups and benefits, the laughter and the sadness…

Before I start ranting, this is one of the few non-fictional posts – it is real contemplation and well, on an honest note – it feels extremely difficult to put down your very personal self in public space. For some unknown reason, I know I have to.

The last three months have seen me staying under the loving, caring gaze of my parents – this carefreeness begets self-exploration of a different kind – the kind I only read/ heard and ignored – hearing to yourself when alone and accepting it.

So, one of the biggest realizations has been the importance of people in my life – the kind you can talk to about nothing and everything and the biggest learning has been how to maintain and develop relationships.

Well, I have been blessed with absolutely wonderful people in my life, and I always appreciated that.

At the same time, I used to think I am this independent, liberated woman who can spend quality time all by herself but it all went into dumps in the past three months. I realized that I am madly and whole-heartedly dependent on my family and friends to the extent of being possessive, demanding, over-expecting and all other things people term as “insecure”. Talking to them, staying updated about their lives, craving for their time, waiting for the phone to beep – “Oh! God, please even a one-word message will do!” – became utmost important in these 3 months. Unnerving this realisation is – absolutely! Is it really me? Am I crazy? Was it me who earlier used to snigger at such behavior?
And being non-confrontational by nature just added to it.

Well, well – as many wise men have advised, accept the truth.

So, I accepted that I am not a happy loner – I need people around and then, it started feeling good. Now the difficult part.

Home alone, no deadlines, no real work, the ‘bed-food-books-movie’ routine, hence a lot of free time to wonder (yes, crave to wander too), remember, day-dream, quite some topics floating in the mind to talk and discuss and a lot of time in silence craving to be shared.

The flip-side: everyone except your parents are still living by their previous schedules and you have more time than they have. The previous perfect equation of time has turned into inequality. All it led to was self-doubt and worse still, doubt in relationships.

But then, I quickly got over it and learnt the ultimate mantra on how to maintain my relationships. When it comes to people you love, “you need to be extremely patient with them, and equally impatient with yourself.”

What? How? Why?

Yes, I am this super believer in love – every damn kind of love. And so, when it comes to your close ones, you need to be so impatient with yourself that you pursue perfection in as little time as possible with a passion little known – perfection as a friend, as a sibling, as a child, as a lover, etc., perfection such that you leave little chance of complaints, perfection that is so empowering that you know you have given the best, perfection such that the time you spend together with them is bliss of a different level – laughter and fun and memories. You become perfect in being secure, in being able to appeal to their best nature, in perfectly loving your own self to give them your best. Given that, I do believe in a little room for fights (which exist because you are “yourself”) as a part of this utopia.

And when it comes to the other person, you have to be patient enough to give some space, to let them realize their true feelings for you, to let them explore life beyond you so that they can decide for themselves, to allow them the time to unfold and see your depth of feelings for them, to let them just be and to accept them as they change when life progresses. Cliche as it may be – it is not in the amount of hours spent together but in the depth of feelings and immovable trust that relationships foster.

And of course, the best part is that now I am turning into a truly happy loner doing other things that I love, knowing deep down that I love my people and they are with me even when silent.

 

P.S: On a lighter note – Is this permanent, considering how constantly I change?

The spark in today’s trivial

12 Jan

Today was any other day …
The drill to get up, the small chores at home, the addiction to a switched-on laptop with umpteen web pages open, intact …
I came from my small afternoon walk, tired and breathless thanks to the abundant flab that loves me unconditionally – Curse them all you want but they won’t leave 😛
The door bell rang-Papa, and as often happens, he had stuff in his hand – a water pipe to replace the broken one for the plumber, bread, couple of other knick-knacks my mother would have asked him to bring and a couple of letters/ bills/ couriers.

I immediately pounced at him for the bunch of envelopes to be opened – the cause of attraction was a bright blue pack-and he immediately held his hands back ( Why is he is so tall?, huh!). After a short fight, I got hold of the envelopes (thanks to all other things he was holding in his hand) and attacked the bright blue one. 😀
It was nothing but some promotion material of a new establishment (that would be a topic for another blog), but it sparked a thought and a trail down the memory lane …
How I wish it would have been a letter sent by a loved one? – a small little surprise in that bright blue package.
And immediately my collection of small letters flashed in front of me – little nothings that mean a world to me –
letters written once or twice a year by one of my school friends, my sister’s experiences written neatly with an ink pen when she stayed alone for the first time, a rugged piece of paper torn from a note-book with a message from one of my best friends (sent from the other end of the classroom), an empty Tetley tea bag holder with “pagal”  written in it, scrapbooks, another best friend’s letter in the first year of work and more …

My graduation and post-graduation days were special – for the usual reasons? Yes, but there was more to it.
Birthdays – we worked no ends to make it special for everyone in the group. And the handmade gifts and surprises we thought of, in spite of no income and  the little pocket money we had! Football themed cake along with a football shaped black and white album filled with his baby pics and our comments for a soccer fanatic friend; taking the kid of the group to an old fort (after changing two/ three metros and a bumpy auto ride) with a handkerchief tied over her eyes, arranging twenty-one small gifts under a tree for her 21st birthday; working for months to contact a friend’s school buddies to get small personalized videos from them; heart-shaped handmade paper album sewn together with needle and thread containing printed posters of another buddy with top actresses and hilarious captions… and many more.

However tech-friendly we become, huge surprise parties we throw and cash we spend now, those moments were priceless!
We have all moved on to different places – studies, work, home and the practical life, some are in the country while some are outside – but wouldn’t they re-act the same way if a bright blue package knocks at their doorstep?
Yes, they would. So, go collect all the addresses and the next time you are very happy, having nothing to do or are just blue with no one to talk to – go grab some pieces of fresh crisp paper, pour your heart out, pack in a few old photographs, tie it with a ribbon and send across your bright blue package!

While I work on mine, until next time. Ciao.

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