Tag Archives: Female

God of budding Flower, anyone?

17 Jan

Rs 25k reward for information on sex selection in state” – the latest scheme by Rajasthan Government to fight sex determination/ female foeticide and punish organisations and people involved.

I am not against the “yojna” but I am absolutely not convinced that it is the “Solution”

Sure, the government would be able to catch hold of people who engage in and in fact, aid and escalate such practices. The Government would be able to curb it to an extent ( two assumptions: corruption in this case would be negligible, government/ police authorities are not among the racketeers; one fact: there is always some goodness around)

But I am concerned about its effectiveness because this scheme is the treatment of an overt symptom and not the cause of the illness.

The root of the problem is “Gender Discrimination” – the deep-routed mindset in India that considers women folk to be of lower worth/ importance than men, which is shockingly present even among the most educated and respected people and sometimes in women themselves.

Now, till we fix this rotten seed, would such schemes be of any help?
Even if abortions are eradicated, the girl child would grow up in a family that does not respect the softer (and stronger) gender. The result can be as worse as Child/Forced marriage, Dowry, Less Education, etc. which leaves its effect on her whole life and persona.

I believe if each one of us can play ‘God’ to a girl we know (or to oneself, if you are a female), make small changes in ourselves and learn to speak up, such schemes would just not be needed.

Here is the quick top-of-my-head list:

1. Tell her a girl she can study as much as she wants. Help a girl seeking studied/ career guidance; Talk to her parents if they feel part-time job/ internship is not for her or if they are “allowing” her to study. Education is now a birth right, dear parents-who-say-that!
Don’t let her believe being a girl, she can take only so and so course – Motivate her by sharing stories of those who have made it in spite of odds one can think of. She can go and be the bread-earner or be the perfect home-maker or be an eclectic mix of both, if she so desires.

2. It does not always start and end at marriage. Yes, marriage is an important aspect of life but everything does not start and end at marriage. Do not take her to parties and social occasions just so that people can see her, take her if she enjoys them. Do not ask her to dress so that she looks thin and petite – she has every right to feel good. Teach her to cook and do household chores to become self-dependent and not because it is a sale-able quality in the marriage market. ย And yes, she does not need to stop studying to get a suitable boy

And yes do tell her this – she does not have to be married to start working on her dream. The time to do anything is “right now”.

3. Let her believe. And sometimes when the surroundings are tough, make her believe in herself, not to accept things just because she is a woman. She can get ahead and fulfill all she desires with a little support from the family. A female is a juggler who knows she can balance everything she wants and can effectively include more tools in her juggling act as time passes.

4. Respect and trust her. It will build her self belief and would make others respect her too. She does not need to shy away from speaking up just because she is a female. Listen and make others listen.

And it will all come back to you full circle. Respect begets respect.

So, look around you and pick up your favourite bud and help her turn into a beautiful flower who is known for herself and not her father or brother or husband or son ๐Ÿ™‚

P.S : I am not a feminist but an “equalist”. I realize I become too preachy at times ๐Ÿ™‚

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