Tag Archives: Emotions

The Runway to Best Friends’ Wedding

6 May

No, the title (the apostrophe in the title) is not a grammatical mistake. Like any other female, I have few best friends and anyone would be an idiot to argue with me that “best” implies only “one”. Sorry dear, you are just going to waste your time.

Now that I have satiated the grammar Nazi in me by excusing myself for the “logical mistake”, back to the point.

Weddings are always a happy affair – okay, pardon the bride and groom who are being buried. So, by and large – Weddings are always a happy affair. But a best friend’s wedding is another thing.

I happen to know very few events that can arouse a tornado of emotions like your best friend getting hitched.

Yes, yes … you always encouraged him/ her to extend bachelorhood till his/ her last breath, but the instant you get the “good news”, a feeling of relief engulfs the entire being – you were shit worried that he/ she settles down. Relief-Happiness to the extent of being Aggressive-Umpteen phone calls to other friends-Excitement-Jumping with Joy-Worrying about all the sweets and junk reflecting on the weighing scale-Discussions-Screening the lucky girl/ guy for the millionth time-More calls-wondering about what to wear at the wedding-okay, some more calls. And finally, when you know there is not a single soul left who wants to talk on this topic, you find yourself smiling and beaming for no reason.

Few days pass and nostalgia strikes: From strangers to friends to best friends: Hours spent in knowing one another, sailing together through ups and downs of life, Fighting like cats and dogs and then forgetting all about it over an ice-cream, discovering and sharing emotions that you never know existed, bike rides and bus rides and auto rides – well, just being together wherever, umpteen trips, talking till the wee hours of morning, blackmailing with all the secrets, being the one-man army when everyone goes against, discussing crushes/ boyfriends/ girlfriends, talking shit because you know the other person would never say -“You told so…”, the hugs and smiles and stolen glances, the care and pure love … the list is endless.

And then calamity strikes – envy that you cannot talk and meet as you wish and of course, keep calling till the phone is picked at 2.39 am in the morning because you had to share some bullshit.

It doesn’t last long when you suddenly start worrying and hoping that his/ her fiance is the right one ….

And so it continues … till the day you see them getting tied together for life. And warmth, bliss and euphoria sweeps over.

Amen – For the past, present and future of our lives and friendship…

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The God in ‘small things’

23 Mar

No, this is not remotely connected to Arundhati Roy’s “The God of Small Things”, and my lines won’t propagate the role of smaller things in yet another rant on success vs. happiness.

Straight to the point. As I type these words, I wonder aloud about how sharing, discussing and communicating the “small things” define our relationships.

My observations and introspections have made me believe that the closer one gets to people, the closer one tends to share the smaller things in life. Take your family, your best friends, your partner, your lover – you would have moved on from discussing about the Gods and Demigods in life – the dreams, the insecurities, the past, the big moments to the smaller daily matters – the dog, the joke, daily menu, the boss, the same irritating neighbor, the same daily work day, the television serial, the ride back home, et. al. You talk daily about the same old things, you also want to hear about the same old things ever single day. And is it boring? – No! They feel like a tune, a melody that is a part of you, the fuel that energizes your everyday life and keeps you calm because you know everything is all right with your loved one, the world is still the same, somewhere you are still “you” and most importantly, there is someone out there you do not have to think about entertaining before speaking to – they revel in your sweet nothings.

When I delve deeper, these are not the petty things alone – but the smaller things tend to lead to the smaller feelings and with that, there is only space for so much more comfort in your relationships day by day.

Think about how your best friend just knew how you must have felt even when you narrated the job interview hours later, how you can just communicate your slightest irritation by snapping at your mother, your lover can just identify the silence of your soul disguised in the high-pitched laughter … beautiful realizations that started by sharing the “smaller things” in life.

Aren’t there times when after closing the call – you wonder how far we have come? I also discussed the less “haldi” in the food today and did I really end up describing the stink of the garbage …

Well, well, well … the God in the smaller things … the immutable, irrepressible love that grows with time, that grows with sharing, that grows with communicating the small things … that permeates each and every moment of our daily existence.

Ironically, how vulnerable we get – how we seek the presence of the special someones’ every moment of the day. And the mayhem it creates when someone leaves or decides to leave, bringing with it a daily struggle to keep missing him/ her every moment of the day –

But then, the feeling of love that sharing your daily life with someone brings – isn’t it worth taking the risk?

P.S: Another thought: From the other side of the table – before leaving someone or giving up on someone by submitting to impatience, ego, misunderstandings, negativity and pride, always remember you can make or break people who love you. Spare a thought for the smaller, deeper things and feelings you shared.

 

Savour the Flavour !

15 Feb

Each person in our life is a distinct emotion
– each one as special as the other. Enjoy them to the tiniest possible iota.”
[Bhawana  :P]

– A realization that has made my life so blessed and beautiful!

Each individual is like a blend of different flavors, hues and emotions – mixed, ground and heated in varied quantities to form a completely unique blend! Yin and Yang, Good and Bad, Positive and Negative, Dark and Light … all sides equally essential and attractive.
These are not just idealistic or romantic lines but when you really think, it is very near the truth (if not whole truth). 

Getting to understand and imbibe this perspective has made me so much happier!

1) You know you will never get another same fellow again and you want to know him/ her more sans any judgment and comparison. It just makes conversations so interesting and relationships so pure! It is just you and the other person.

2) You are always on the lookout of identifying that distinct emotion and ultimately there is one or other part of you that identifies with another fellow.
Precisely the reason why I have quite some close friends – there are different topics, ideologies, characteristics that I can identify and share with each of them. And I cannot define the fullness one feels, when you can share almost every aspect of your life with one or other.

3) You are always open to people, open to listening, open to yet more love – It is like – “Okay, so the last emotion did not go down well with you … Well, do not worry – The next one, for sure, just won’t be the same. Open your heart up, silly.”

4) It just makes life so much more exciting and adventurous and vibrant. After all, the biggest cliché of all times: Man is a social animal 😛

5) We learn new things from each individual and add so many new dimensions to our lives!

And to further add to it, one fact extremely hard (yet, essential) to gulp down is that we just cannot force love or make anyone stay when they do not wish to – even if we do, they would be with us not in essence, but just in person. And this further enhances each relationship.

1) You do not know if one will stay forever so you want to make as many memories as possible. And when it comes between your ego and his/ her ego – it appears as a choice between your ego and happy memories. You are, of course, wise enough to choose what will make you happier!

2) Many of us have experienced this at one point of time:  We change for people, do everything another wants (whether we ourselves are convinced or not) just so that the other person stays and still, in the end we lose – not just the other person but ourselves! In hindsight, losing oneself and the time spent in mayhem seems to be the greater disaster.

Realizing that one will stay only if he/ she wishes to, just makes us so much more honest and we can just be. Happy in the glory that I will not change myself if my heart is not convinced.

3) You are just so much more secure of yourself, a little less scared of losing yourself even while expressing what you feel.

People argue what’s the point in opening yourself to others if there are chances of losing, of getting hurt – Well, I believe in clichés:

– Don’t we want to accumulate all the best things in life? Staying mediocre for the fear of getting hurt, which may not even be the case ! Silly, ain’t it?

– The more we interact with others, the more we introspect, the more we know ourselves.

– Pure joy of being with people. And life is meant to be joyous!

So ‘Savour the Flavour’ while you can and yes, while being yourself do your best to ensure that you retain every ‘distinct emotion’ in your life. But if they walk out – you know you did your best and you have tons more to know out there and you better get going quickly.

P.S: It may seem like an odd post , but the three reasons that prompted me to write these musings: 

1) It was Valentines’ Day and I saw a fair amount of disguised hate messages on Social Media among the mushy ones – indirect messages in the hope to maybe communicate one’s rage/ feelings to another person they are no longer talking to or to let people know they were in the wrong and are not needed anymore or perhaps just to proclaim out loud and make themselves feel better about not having few people in their lives anymore.
Very human and honest, I feel. But we can do better.

2) Two of my closest friends love pulling my leg over one topic (as often as they can, well sometimes – mixed with sarcasm too):
“Every other person is your close friend.” -> “Your phone was busy. Oh! You must be talking to a ‘very close friend’ …” -> “So, what is your no. of close friends, now?” etc. etc.

3) Most people I know find it hard to believe that there exists even a single soul who does not want people who left or lost over years  to be back in their lives. But there are such people – and I know some of them.

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