For more Ticks than Crosses

11 Aug

“Night falls fast. Today is in the past.”

– Edna St. Vincent Millay

[From her poem – Not so Far as the Forest]

 

The throbbing beats of rain in the backdrop, coffee and solitude accompanied by the enormity of these words took me to another level of ponderance and realization.

The stark brevity of time struck me like never before.

A few years back, as I entered B-school, I could not help thinking about the long path ahead and yearning – the dreams and goals seemed miles and years away. And now, after more than six years-it seems like yesterday-as if the days have passed at the snap of fingers.

This is just one example.

Really, each and everyday-how the sun rises and sets in seemingly, the blink of an eye and before we know – as we close our eyes, today has already transformed into yesterday.

Embracing the reality of such a short life, brings with it so many life-transforming insights: Living by the Day, Grabbing as many Experiences as possible, the Power of being Happy and Positive,  Loving as much and as many as one can, etc. but at the top of it all lies Discipline!

No, not the ‘Always-be-prim-and-proper-and-I-hate-fun” sort of Discipline, but the Discipline of Time: Staying up and about as much as one can-Valuing and utilizing each moment!
Because with procrastination and wasting time-one just kills their dreams and passions one by one.

Dreams are always a perhaps-and its ironical how without giving time to them, we ourselves strangle them to death and then lament the lack of time and luck and support 🙂

And with being disciplined, we end up making way for satisfaction (personally and professionally) and consequently, the other stuff – Love, Goodness, Happiness …

Rarity always precedes Preciousness. How can we be foolish enough to waste something as valuable as time, when it is so absolutely obvious?

Think and Feel.

 

P.S: I believe I realized the value of time subconsciously some months back; and made major lifestyle changes – And yes, it works: the To-Do list is endless, but there are certainly more Ticks than Crosses now 🙂

 

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A Story to Read and Write!

19 Jun

Sometimes you need to bribe children for their own sake, yes bribe – and yes for their good.

I knew a 7-year-old who had to be coaxed for a doctor’s check up and some tests. Now, she had extremely articulate parents who tried to put sense in her; but this kid surprised them. At the end of the entire ordeal she made a deal – “Buy me a book on the way back and I will go to the doctor.” A seven-year old kid – not asking for a visit to the circus or chocolates or a new toy – but A Book, and a big, fat book she ended up selecting!

No prices for guessing – this was Me.

And till date I read – whenever and wherever possible, a minute waiting for someone, quick five pages before starting the day’s work at office, the loo, cheating through a conference call, on my lap-under the laptop in a meeting where I am sure nobody would notice me – I have prayed for people to turn up late while waiting at a cafe, I have deliberately missed getting down at my metro station so that I can finish the chapter, I have read with a torch in the blanket so that my parents don’t find out I am awake and bless the mobile and e-books during parties and sociadal (social -suicidal: one and the same! ) functions.

But  honestly I am not an avid reader –  I am gazillions of books behind being an avid reader and it pains – it pains right there where it hurts the most that however hard I try, I would eventually miss out on so many stories.

“Stories” – Precisely the reason behind that little kid to yearn for a book ! Stories – the reason for all those antics, just to pop my head into some pages!

Now this uncanny passion for stories governs my life to the extent of crazy!

My maid comes wearing new bangles – and I hear the clink of a story; a girl staring into space in the bus and I see a story; My friend returns from a trip and I want to hear the story; The aunty at the yoga-centre always seems so confused and I wonder what’s the story; A friend does not believe in love and I seek the story –  A birthmark, a marriage, broken glasses, love for a brand, beaches, a subtle hello, high-squeaked voices, faces at the doctors’ clinic, drug addicts caught, my neighbour’s shopping behaviour, crossed fingers and flying balloons, broken promises and soul-ripping eyes, lazy walks, an addictive smile, choice of a book, rash driving or a hug – behind everything, everywhere I sense a story: Feelings, Reasons, Incidents behind, Dreams ahead – waiting to be read, waiting to be told – stories in every molecule the universe holds!

Stories – the reason my every What follows a Why, details I seek behind every action and word – even a sigh!
Stories – the force behind Marketing – my career choice
Stories – that help me figure out things – virtue or vice!

Ha!

Quoting Kristin Martz: “We lose ourselves in the things we love, we find ourselves there too.”

“Stories” is why I attempt to Write !!

 

Imprints in Time

5 Jun

We have come a long way …
from those foolhardy days,
When naive and eloquent:
every thought we would question;
And oh! so bold –
every next chance our heart would leap to take;

Sure, we have come a long way
Yet, my heart visits those imprints in time
Just to feel alive,
Reminiscing the paths where real glory lay.






P.S: The categorization in both “Poems” and “Short Stories” is intentional. I believe the romantics at heart would know why!

Silence …

15 May

He was constantly fighting not to think about it through the day. He drowned himself in more work; he seeked new friends and engaged in conversations with them. Her laugh and silly memories kept reappearing in front of him. But why should he bother? Wasn’t it apparent that she did not really care for him any more – where had the calls and conversations gone? Why didn’t she make attempts to meet him anymore?

She had a knot in her throat all her waking moments these days. She could sense his change in attitude, but felt this was just a passing phase – maybe work woes. He would confide in her one of these days. After all, she trusted, there was no space for assumptions in their relationship. He would certainly speak his mind and share – weren’t they best friends first? She missed him.

The previous day had marked the fourth anniversary of their relationship and so it continued in silence for the next six months till they drifted apart without uttering a single word.

Life moved on. Somewhere deep down, they continued loving each other.

If only they would have confided in each other…

The Runway to Best Friends’ Wedding

6 May

No, the title (the apostrophe in the title) is not a grammatical mistake. Like any other female, I have few best friends and anyone would be an idiot to argue with me that “best” implies only “one”. Sorry dear, you are just going to waste your time.

Now that I have satiated the grammar Nazi in me by excusing myself for the “logical mistake”, back to the point.

Weddings are always a happy affair – okay, pardon the bride and groom who are being buried. So, by and large – Weddings are always a happy affair. But a best friend’s wedding is another thing.

I happen to know very few events that can arouse a tornado of emotions like your best friend getting hitched.

Yes, yes … you always encouraged him/ her to extend bachelorhood till his/ her last breath, but the instant you get the “good news”, a feeling of relief engulfs the entire being – you were shit worried that he/ she settles down. Relief-Happiness to the extent of being Aggressive-Umpteen phone calls to other friends-Excitement-Jumping with Joy-Worrying about all the sweets and junk reflecting on the weighing scale-Discussions-Screening the lucky girl/ guy for the millionth time-More calls-wondering about what to wear at the wedding-okay, some more calls. And finally, when you know there is not a single soul left who wants to talk on this topic, you find yourself smiling and beaming for no reason.

Few days pass and nostalgia strikes: From strangers to friends to best friends: Hours spent in knowing one another, sailing together through ups and downs of life, Fighting like cats and dogs and then forgetting all about it over an ice-cream, discovering and sharing emotions that you never know existed, bike rides and bus rides and auto rides – well, just being together wherever, umpteen trips, talking till the wee hours of morning, blackmailing with all the secrets, being the one-man army when everyone goes against, discussing crushes/ boyfriends/ girlfriends, talking shit because you know the other person would never say -“You told so…”, the hugs and smiles and stolen glances, the care and pure love … the list is endless.

And then calamity strikes – envy that you cannot talk and meet as you wish and of course, keep calling till the phone is picked at 2.39 am in the morning because you had to share some bullshit.

It doesn’t last long when you suddenly start worrying and hoping that his/ her fiance is the right one ….

And so it continues … till the day you see them getting tied together for life. And warmth, bliss and euphoria sweeps over.

Amen – For the past, present and future of our lives and friendship…

Accidentally, in love forever

3 May

Well, a liaison of merely two to three hours daily for the last five days – and I am in love; Deep and Profound – doing activities I never imagined, feeling an unprecedented peace of mind every afternoon – hot and sultry weather dutifully ignored.

A love, that is forever!

It is Yoga this time – circumstantially thrown into the web, I started off on a neutral note and it is not even a week, I revel in the joy of having found something I know I would love and hold on to for lifetime.

(Okay, I am all prepared for the truck load of messages saying: “I asked you to start it earlier”, “I had said so, na..”, etc. )

Holding on to a sling with the leg , head upside down – hold for ten minutes! One leg over the other at 120 degrees – come on, it is only 5 counts, supporting the kilos of weight on one leg and an elbow – oh! just a minute.
All of it is a  feat for me – Dear Yoga practitioners, please pardon my pride – but people who share my plight of unspeakable extra fat and flab with laziness thrown in, will understand.

So why all this blabber?
This sudden love story has enlightened me in the ways of the world in many more ways
(Apart from “Bas, ab main bhi patli hoke dikhaunngi…  “ Shhhhh.. that’s a secret!)

1) Lesson No. 1 – We need to have a passion in life (which does not depend on another living soul) that takes us away from the loose ends of daily living and invites us for a dive into an inner peace.
Of course, not to mention – it helps in hanging on to the last string of sanity when nothing else in life is working out.

Well, not for long but the couple of hours take me away from all worries and I would love to discover more such activities. It also feeds the need to find my personal space amidst the societal demands.

It can be Painting or TRX or Cooking or Recycling for you!

2) The cause and cure behind the worst weakness of all – Procrastination

This entire feeling of liking an activity as much to commit to it for life has given me an insight into procrastination – I have started to believe we dither tasks when we do not really enjoy an activity to the core. If we really love something, we will feel motivated and find time for it.

Hence, if you are sick of lying around with the list of to-dos – please keep trying something or other, till you discover what you love enough to stop lazing around.

3) Bottom Line – Human Beings are meant to move around and toil hard. Sitting away to glory, thanks to all the technological progress, is just going to make the after-years difficult
(This one is especially for the professionals)

We really do not know what we can do, till we try. It is important to keep believing, looking ahead and trying new things (well, this holds true for people too) because you never know what (or, who) is waiting around the corner to fill your life with some passion and become a confidante forever.

After all, life is meant to be full of passionate experiences: well lived and not merely existed!

🙂

P.S: Do post in your comments, if there is anything you have discovered to be as fulfilling or if you have gone through the same emotions on finding a new love.

They met again …

17 Apr

They would keep in touch – they had promised.  He had failed to keep the promise.

It was seven years now.
He recognized her immediately: That twinkle in the eyes, The way she tilted her head when she spoke. The incessant smile. The tapping of fingers. Those eyes lingering over the kids.
Seemed nothing had changed. 

Time froze. The three hours passed in a jiffy.
She never mentioned the un-reverted attempts to get in touch. There was so much to catch up with.

They parted. Goodbyes – promises made again.
He smiled faintly.
He recognized her. But he had stopped knowing her.

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